Some years ago, my favorite nude beach was going through some difficulties. This beach, which is a four-hour drive away for me, is the one place many people in this part of the country can go to be a nudist or naturist. There was a government official who liked to come by and harrass the naturists on the beach. He did everything he could to show his displeasure of us and to discourage us.

This man would always ride up on his boat. You could tell by the way he stood in his boat and looked at his boat, that he loved his boat. It made me wonder what would happen if someone tried to prevent him from using his boat in that river. So I wrote this fable, for him.

The Boat-ist

a fable by Peter Guither



Once upon a time there was a boat-ist. He had inherited his boat from his parents and loved the feeling of freedom as he rode his boat on lakes, rivers and oceans -- the sun shining on him and the spray hitting his face. It was a feeling he could hardly describe.

Then a group of "right-thinking" people decided that boats were, by their nature, inherently bad. The boat-ist was told that he could no longer use his boat on any public waterway.
When he complained, he got a response which the "right-thinking" people felt was compassionate, open-minded and reasonable:

"We do not intend to prevent you from using your boat. You simply must not use it in public areas. You are welcome to keep your boat in your garage and sit in it there. You can turn the wheel and even run the motor. Isn't that all there is to boating anyway? If you want, although we find this a bit perverted, you can even invite friends over to sit in the boat with you. This is a free country. If you have a swimming pool, you can even build a big fence around it and put your boat in the pool if you want."

The boat-ist talked to the people in charge of waterways and said since there were thousands of waterways, why couldn't some of them be allowed for boats? They responded that people who don't like boats might happen upon that waterway and be upset, and the waterway people are supposed to serve the people and not get them upset.

By this time, a small number of people had started a movement called boat-enthusi-ism. They were hampered by the fact that most people were afraid to admit they had a boat, or liked boating. But they won a victory and got the waterway people to set aside an area that nobody went to, to be used for boating.

This boating-allowed area was clear across the state from the boat-ist and it was an area just large enough to drive around in tight circles and it was filled with dangerous submerged rocks. The boat-ist had to make sure no one could see his boat until he actually got it into the allowed area, or there would be a big fine to pay.



The "right-thinking" people still complained about the boating even though they never went to that area, and the boat-ists had to work very hard to keep that rocky area of boat-allowed water.

The boat-ist was still not satisfied, so he went to the high-and-mighty court that has big, important judges. They said that talk was free, but boating isn't talk, so he was out of luck.

He asked them about the Document of Important Freedoms and the ninth article which talked about freedoms reserved by the people. The big, important judges laughed and laughed and said, "No one pays attention to that one. If they did, how could the law makers make all of those laws that they're paid to make?"

The boat-ist went home, and sat in his boat, in his garage.

___The End___

I realize this is not a proper fable.
It doesn't have a happy ending . . . yet.

Isn't it amazing that, as a society,
we have less respect for the beautiful and natural creation of the human body
than we do for . . . a boat?

© 1992 Peter Guither.